Hello! My name is Nk-the-epic, and I am the creator of this pasta. Please do not edit without asking me first and getting my full approval. If there are any grammar mistakes, just tell me. Thank you and I hope that you enjoy this pasta! Also, it's fake, just like all pastas are. This pasta is more of a compilation of different points of view, so there are a couple of chapters here.

Chapter 1: Sea Journey

This is Nk here. One day, I was just sailing around for a while in a cool river that I found. I really like using boats in Minecraft, especially when I am sailing near jungles. There are so many cool things to see in jungles, like ocelots. I also wanted to grab a couple of cocoa beans so I could make some chocolate chip cookies.

So, I kept sailing. I eventually went out of the jungle, and came into a plains biome. There was a cave that caught my interest. I went into the cave, which was already partially lit.

The cave had several stone steps that were not natural. It could have been part of a dungeon. So, I kept going down. Finally, I reached bedrock. Still, there was nothing to be found. Then, I turned around and I was about to go back when I heard a noise.

It was not a normal sound effect. It sounded like a mix of a creeper hissing and a man screaming in real life. I turned around again, and I saw a strange thing.

There was a large creature in the area. It had strangely large eyes, which were black and almost soulless. The creature was drenched in what looked like blood. It was holding a pickaxe.

I was pretty scared. I knew this must be a glitch, since I was on single player mode at the time.

Then, this "glitch" started to say a few words in the chat:

<> "I am happy that you are here. I am absolutely famished."

The creature, who had a knife, reached towards me. I could almost see the square-shaped blood.

And the screen went black.

Chapter 2: "Glitch"

Nk was safely out of the way. I was happy. People thought that I was a glitch. No. I have been nourished by my blood.

The blood is the only thing that keeps me alive.The blood nourishes me, and I don't feel pain. There are no tears, there are no weaknesses. I am now alive and strong. Now, I can take down more people. Soon, I will be stronger than Notch, and finally I can have Minecraft as my own.

Chapter 3: Mining Trip

Hello, this is Ash.

I decided to do a little bit of walking. I already built my house, and I am pretty well-off in the game. I needed to find a cave though, so I could get some resources. I also want for diamonds.

So, I went into the cave now. There seems to be some strange formations, as the area in the cave looks like how a dungeon would look like.

Soon, I saw a strange creature. This could not have been a glitch. As superstitious as I am, I thought that this was another one of those real characters that hate Minecraft players.

I went onto the chat, and I said:

<Ash> Hello.

<> Hi brother.

<Ash> I am not your brother.

<> Really. Want to compare DNA, bro?


<> Oh, yes you can. I'll show you. First, you have to get some of their blood...

And the creature lunged for me with outstretched arms, almost like a hug. But I could see the evilness in the creature's eyes. I could see the pain in their eyes. The pain that forced this creature to kill others. There was only blood that must have kept this creature strong.


I already had two meals. I need another sample of blood, and finally I will be the strongest. I will be very powerful. I could actually take down all of my enemies, one by one.

I could take down Notch.

All I need is another drink of blood. I need another victim. I need another person to venture into my cave.

I need