PLEASE NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS AWFUL AND IS FOR COMEDY ONLY
I'm HyperStanners. I like exploring singleplayer worlds. Then my friend Kraz made a server with no minigames, just a multiplayer seed. On it, we encountered...Gourmand. This entity made us starve, growing stronger with each pang of hunger. First it was annoying, then infuriating, and finally...horrifying.
So I had this cool house thing, it was red stained glass panes and dark oak wood. Then, I found diamonds so I made a sword and a pickaxe and had one left over. I put the pickaxe and the spare diamond in a chest and went to try the sword out. I killed Kraz as a joke and gave him his stuff but when I got back my house and went to get the pickaxe, I noticed that the spare diamond was gone. I was really mad and accused Kraz of taking it but he seemed surprised and said he didn't. No one else had been online at the time. I killed Kraz again for his items and went to his house to search for my diamond but I couldn't find it. I thought that he'd hidden it but then realised something. I killed him so he respawned in his house. He couldn't get to my house and out again before I got back. I thought it was a glitch but named it "The Glutton" so I would have something to refer to.
Confirmation of CreepypastaMy ENTIRE supply of food disappeared from my chests two days later. Kraz said that his was gone as well. Then we went to look for food and then Kraz tried to kill a pig but his sword was gone. I checked my inventory and everything that wasn't in my hotbar was gone. I thought maybe that the Glutton wasn't a glitch but a creepypasta and Kraz agreed and insisted we called it Gourmand, the French word for "Greedy". Night fell and we killed some zombies and were basically living off rotten flesh. But our chests were EMPTY and I was like, this server sucks. Kraz said he'd change the seed and he did. Gourmand didn't appear for about two weeks.
One day when I was playing alone, I saw something strange. Some armour that I recognised as my missing armour (Dyed leather leggings, chain helmet, iron chestplate and boots) was floating around. It was like an invisible person wearing it, except there were no particles. It was heading for me and food and blocks were being ejected when it moved. It wasn't holding anything so I thought it was like an invisible armour stand. I was curious and so watched it as it stopped in front of me. My items were thrown out of me like I pressed Q, except I hadn't. Gourmand ran through me and the armour was ejected out of it so it was invisible. I tried picking up the items but it didn't work. I'm going to try and kill Gourmand but every item it takes seems to make it stronger, like it's a leech. How can I stop it taking my stuff?
I spent the next few days hiding my chests, as I was curious as to how Gourmand actually took my items. I guarded the chest when I was online. Suddenly I heard a chest opening sound, but no chests had been opened. I checked inside all my chests , and only a few bits of junk like seeds and dirt remained. I was MAD. I needed to work out how to stop Gourmand and I knew it was nearby, if it physically opens chests. I typed in the chat:
[Staff]<HyperStanners>Are you there?
I was exploring. If you are wondering why I was still playing, it was because...well, if something like this happened to you, wouldn't you go looking? I was with two of my friends, Kraz and Volley, and we were trying to scavenge items (Volley was a victim too) and we saw Gourmand again, at a distance, heading the opposite way to us so we could only see it sideways. We chased after it and I realised what had made me think of it resembling an armor stand - it didn't move its "legs" when it walked. It stopped when we approached but didn't turn to us. We tried to communicate to it:
[Staff]<HyperStanners>Hello? Can you see this? [Owner]<KraziRox>Answer NOW.
Gourmand started again, spitting a load of items out, and then I started wondering, "Where does it get all these items"? I mean, we hadn't got that many...
An hour later, I found a dungeon. I was really excited to get some loot because items never stayed in my inventory for longer than 15 minutes now. But the chests were empty! First I thought that one of the others closed the dungeon back up to troll me, but then I noticed that the spawn egg from the spawner was gone. I realised how Gourmand gets all its items - it takes them from the infinite number of structures in the world! At this point there wasn't much to do on the server except look for Gourmand, so I decided to do just that.
Third Appearance - Examination
After a half hour of exploring, and trying to get enough food, I saw Gourmand standing still on a mountain. Except instead of wearing a helmet, it wore some strange head that looked like a cross between a dinosaur and the Grinch. Kraz suddenly came back online so I asked him why Gourmand had a head. He said he used a command to get it, and put it in a chest. As I got closer to Gourmand I noticed that items were fizzing out of it, and one was an elytra. I realised two things - first, it can take stuff from other dimensions, and second, it can take stuff from item frames. This spooked me until I had a great idea. I told Kraz to get a Nuke TNT one-command, or at least one where TNT explodes in your inventory. While he did that, I wondered about the size of Gourmand's inventory, if he had one. Then, when Kraz finished downloading the command, he gave himself the Nuke TNT. Basically it exploded after being in someone's inventory for more than 10 seconds, and the explosion was HUGE. I used commands to place a chest and quickly put the TNT in it before it went off. Gourmand turned to look at the chest as we legged it. I guess it took the item because it went BOOM. After the explosion, we looked but we couldn't find it. And for three weeks, we could play normally again, without the Glutton stealing items from our chests.
I was chopping down a tree with no-one else online. But none of the spruce blocks were getting picked up by me. Then the the strangest thing happened. The items swirled together, getting higher and higher, until all eight were floating in the air in a strange pattern. Suddenly, a word flashed on the screen. It was "Je". I was confused. Gourmand rose high in the air, blocks breaking and the items flying into it. I noticed the Nuke TNT command blocks breaking too, and flying into it. Clouds fell down from the sky, Gourmand absorbing them. Another word flashed on screen - " Suis". I knew that so far it meant "I am" in French. The cloud of items suddenly began to take on shape - resembling an Endoskeketon from FNaF in almost every way. "De retour" flashed on screen, but this time in blood red. Gourmand shot down like a bullet until it was a half-block above the ground, almost the size of a giant. It spun around and around like a spinning top. "Maintenant" flashed on screen in spooky green. I translated in my head. "Je suis de retour maintenant" means "I am back now" in French. Gourmand had command blocks swirloing around in the part of it that looks like an Endoskeleton's head. It could control it all. The sky turned spooky, haunting green. Block textures faded away, to be replaced with blood-red versions. Rustic brown fog descended on it all. Gourmand seemed to stare at me. Then it turned, stretched out its arms like Superman, and shot away.
I'm going to refer to Gourmand as a male from now on.
I had an idea. Gourmand controlled the world, but his form was items only. I downloaded a lag-removing plugin that deletes items on the ground every few minutes. I installed it and waited. When there were twenty seconds remaining until item removal, my hunger bar started draining away MUCH quicker than normal. My hunger grew. When I started starving, my health started trickling away very quickly. When I died, there were eleven seconds until item removal. I respawned in the haunted sky, and block items started shooting towards me. They placed even though there was nothing to place them on. I landed in the middle of the sky on a platform made out of moss stone, obsidian, netherrack (a Nether portal was in the world - they must have been sucked through from there, red sandstone, and cake. Six seconds until item removal. Five. Four. Gourmand swirled into existence before me. Three. Two. "Non" flashed on screen. One. Zero. Gourmand disappeared, except for the clouds in him. The split into nine small pieces, and puffed away. But that wasn't the last of Gourmand - and commands weren't going to work again.
The Rise of Nine
Gourmand doesn't live in bodies. He rests in them. I need to destroy his spirit oncevand for all. The mini Glutton things are racing around the server. I knew I had to make them take form, and kill them once and for all. I tried as many one-commands as I could think of. None worked. "Non" would always flash on screen, except the last time when it said "Es-tu stupide?" So I needed to give these hungers bodies. I tried putting spawn eggs in chests but the gluttons wouldn't fuse with them, just possess them. How could I make them fuse? Suddenly, in a flash, I realised. If I gave them powerful enough bodies, they might take FULL CONTROL. Kraz had been on again, finding it funny and giving all nine numbered heads. I went looking until I found Number Two. I knew that the gluttons were not yet at their strongest. Time to change that. I used my staff privelages to spawn an Ender Dragon, then legged it. On screen it said "Oui!", so I guess Gourmand Number Two fused with it. I looked for more. Three became a Wither, Eight a charged creeper, Five a giant zombie, One an iron golem, Seven an elder guardian. Before I could look for Gourmands Four, Six and Nine, Seven lasered me and Eight blew up, destroying lots of stuff and killing itself, me, and Seven. I respawned and looked around. That was it! I had to use the power they had to my advantage. Four became a size 16 slime and Six a size 16 magma cube. That's four times larger than a large slime. Nine wasn't happy with a ghast so I gave a witch, so he splashed One by accident. They fought and One won at low health. Three fired a wither skull but I dived behind One, who died. Two flew towards me but I dodged and Two struck Five. They fought and Two won. Four and Six bounded towards me but they were too big and hit each other. They fought and Six won in three little magma cubes - Ten, Eleven and Twelve. Gourmand's spirit was splitting again! Three blasted Two by accident. Three won the fight that followed but killed Ten, Eleven and Twelve by accident. But now Three was alive with no one to kill it. Gourmand, in Three, killed me again and again and again. Suddenly, with no-one else online, an arrow was fired into Gourmand killing him instantly. Who did that? It wasn't me and no-one else was online...