Hi. My name is bones. I'm a skeleton.
One day, I was killed for the last time. Burning in the day, being killed by others and only being able to scavenge during the night. When I can barely see, and only rely on my bow, my only defense, to fire aimlessly. Hoping to hit a target.
I decided that I wanted to end this suffering and aimless shooting. I waited for night, my only hope of getting to the Mojang office in time. There was no way I could survive running in the day. I fired aimlessly. relying on luck to survive and get to the Mojang office.
After a while, adjusting my eyes and hitting myself to make sure it wasn't a dream, it was right in front of me. The Mojang office. I knocked, hoping to get an answer from someone. Someone answered, and it was Markus, the lead developer of Minecraft. I asked him to make not only skeletons but Zombies and other hostile mobs not burn.
He ended up calling me crazy and said, "It's natural for mobs to burn. I made you that way! Appreciate it!" I then gave him 25 dead bushes and 10 ink sacs. He said, "OMG YES!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?!" Notch ran inside and seemed to have done a bit of coding. I ran back, Yet again aimlessly shooting. I stumbled. And after 10 minutes, or what seemed to be half an hour, I finally made it back to my cave. I found my bed shortly after and went to sleep.
I woke up in the dazzling light of day. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. I found myself in the brim hours of daylight, outside my cave. I stood up after a minute to figure out where I was. Then it hit me,
I wasn't Burning.
Players didn't seem to attack me, and I didn't worry about aimlessly shooting and stumbling in the darkest hours of nighttime. I was happy.
When I thought nothing could ruin this day, Lightning popped up in the plains. I stopped in my tracks. I heard a yell, "No, No, NO!!! NOTCH!"
I completely forgot about Herobrine's mob farm.
I saw Herobrine rush to the Mojang office. I followed. Herobrine knocked and Markus came out again. A chat started. It went something like this:
<HB> You made a mistake!!
<HB> My mob farm isn't working! The mobs aren't burning! What is this "Enemyless Update?"
<Notch> Well... I got paid a few dead bushes and a couple of ink sacs to do it.
<HB> Look, I'll pay you 200 ink sacs to fix it.
<Notch> Fix what?
<HB> LOOK, YOU MADE MOBS NOT BURN! MY MOB FARMS ARE USELESS NOW BECAUSE OF THIS MISTAKE!
<Notch> It wasn't a mistake! I got paid to do it!
<HB> Fine! I'll pay you 201 ink sacs if you remove this update!
<Notch> YES!!! WHY DON'T YOU SAY THESE THINGS EARLIER!!!
Notch ran inside, and a few hours later, I started to burn.
Well, it was fun while it lasted.