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Polandball
This is a classic!
This is a well-known pasta. Plot changes should not be added until information has been released by the author.
Prepare Your Nipples

The Disconnection Message

So I was playing Minecraft one night, nothing really out of the ordinary. I was playing on my usual survival world. I’ve played this world ever since the 1.7 update that added all the new biomes came out. So I had plenty of gear and materials. I had a large house and farm, several stacks of diamonds, and other things, I was pretty well off in that save file. But everything changed that one day…

I was playing on my world, and went exploring to find some villages to trade with, but suddenly, when I got into a roofed forest, it got unexpectedly foggy. I went and checked my render distance, and they mysteriously were at their minimum setting. I usually have it render at far distance, which was really weird. I reset it back to it’s original setting, but when I unpaused the game, it went back to its low render setting. I decided to forget about it and just continue on. “It’s probably just some bug” I said to myself as I continued on, I left it at the setting since it was obviously not going to go back. As I walked through the roofed forest, I saw a figure run through the woods just barely in my sight. I tried pursuing it, but it disappeared into the fog. I suddenly became slightly frightened, as I thought it was Herobrine. I never truly believed in the myth that he goes into your minecraft saves, but what was I to think? I tried running where I thought the potential Herobrine was at, but I found nothing. I decided to turn around and go back to my village searching, but when I did, the figure I was searching for appeared right in front of me, but this was not Herobrine. No. He was similar, he had the default skin, except his head, instead of a face with empty eyes, was a sticky piston head, I instantly died in game after the encounter, losing all of my gear, and my respawn point was thousands of blocks away. but when I respawned, I saw the piston headed figure in front of me again, I tried to kill it, but it attacked me, while making sounds which I thought was a Ghasts, and killed me again, and I was suddenly disconnected from my world’s internal server. I got the “disconnected from server” message, but under it was a message that I’ve never seen before while playing Minecraft. It said “PREPARE YOUR NIPPLES”. I thought this was maybe some prank thing that Mojang did in 1.7 or something, as they did something similar to one of the versions during April Fools Day, only it wasn’t April Fools, I went onto the forums to see if anyone has had any encounters to this mysterious thing. After hours of searching, I found nothing. It was late, so I decided to get some sleep and continue the search in the morning…

I later woke up in the middle of the night. I slept with my clothes on, but for some reason, my shirt was off, my vision was a little fuzzy from waking up, so I started rubbing them to clear it up. When I was able to see clearly again, I saw a dark figure across me room, from his silhouette, I could see that he had a cube for a head, it started walking towards me, and when it was close enough to where I could see it. I saw that his cube head was a giant piston head. It was the figure in the game, but in the real world. I was scared out of my mind, so scared I could barely move, my arms became weak and they collapsed leaving me on my bed. The figure leaned over me, his piston head turned towards my chest, and slowly extended downwards. I didn’t know what it was doing at first, but then I realized, It wanted my nipples. When the sticky pistons head reached my chest, it began pulling, I tried to resist but he had my hands pinned down on the bed. I began screaming in pain as he slowly detached my nipples from my chest, by the time they were removed, there was blood all over my chest, and I was crying. I saw the figure back away and slowly disappear into nothing, I never saw him again, but I know what he is…He is the Nipple Monster, if you ever encounter him, whatever you do, leave your save, and delete it. Do not fight back, or me will take your nipples from you. Do not suffer the fate that I had to endure. He shows no mercy.

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